Forgiveness is one of the hardest things to develop, whether one admits it or not. At least once in your life, you may have experienced holding a grudge against someone who hurt you and guess what, it’s okay! That’s what makes us human. Not forgiving someone is one of the things that remind us we’re just humans and we can’t always live up to our expectations we have of ourselves.
But, what makes you beautiful is the fact that at least more than once, you tried to let go of the grudge you have and you tried to make peace with yourself. You may not have completely forgotten about the pain but if you no longer want to take revenge on the person who hurt you, you’re on the way towards forgiveness.
I have so many grudges against people who conspired to bring me down in the past and I can’t say I’ve completely let go of what they did to me. I still find myself crying at night sometimes, especially when I remember the aftermath of the pain they brought upon me. In the midst of all my hatred and suffering, I observed people who seem to have forgiven people who hurt them purposefully and I learned that there are three main reasons why they try to forgive.
1. Because you want to MOVE ON
Moving on and letting go are two different things. You don’t have to let go but you must move on. It means you are allowing your wounds to heal by themselves until such time you no longer feel any pain. During the healing process, you move on and refuse to allow hatred to rule over your heart.
2. Because you LIVE IN THE PRESENT
Living in the present doesn’t mean you’ll forget everything in your past. In fact, it’s okay to remember things that happened in the past because everything you experienced then led to the person that you are today. On the other hand, you forgive people who hurt you before because you want to live in peace with the person you’ve become and you’re looking forward to the improved version of yourself in the future. Forgiveness allows you to live the life you have today and it will open the door to the person you’re supposed to be tomorrow.
3. Because you DESERVE IT
You forgive the person who hurt you whether she/he asked for it or not because you deserve happiness and peace. It’s good if that person asks for your forgiveness but more than what you can give to him/her, you should forgive because it’s the best gift you can give to yourself after the heartbreak.
If you’ve been hurt by someone in your family, a dear friend, a long-time lover, do know the heavens are rejoicing each time you choose to forgive. It’s not because you’ve decided to make peace with whoever hurt you but because you’ve chosen to free yourself from holding on to a situation you can’t control.
Life is beautiful, my friend, and so are you.
A.N. Basil
(Photo: Pink Sherbet Photography, Wikimedia Commons)
The Basil Effect 